All i ever want to do is cut myself....why not just give in.
What is the point of trying to stop. No one cares. Your only hurting yourself

What is the point of trying if no one cares...
what is the point of screaming if no one will listen...

10/21/2012

Wow, i haven't been on here in forever. :( sad day. Everything's has been so crazy. i keep going back and forth n every decision that i have ever made. But the two things that stay the same is skinny, and cutting. I want to be skinny more than anything. People always say that girls with eating disorders look in the mirror and see themselves fatter than they actually are...well sometimes i look in the mirror and think that maybe i am fatter than i see myself. I mean i already see myself as fat. But what if i am really really fat and i just don't see it. Like my mind is warping my image of myself. And i am really fat. It scares me so much. The second thing that never changes is me wanting to cut. I always want to cut. My razor blade is the only thing in my life that stays constant. It's always there for me, and it never disappoints me. It's my security blanket. It's my favorite tool when painting a sad picture. A sad picture that is written all over my body. A sad picture that reminds me of everything i have gone through. All the hard i have overcome. In a way i love my scars. They have an unseen beauty.  

Russian Gymnast Diet
Breakfast:
*Glass of orange juice or slice of bread
*Black coffee, optional
Lunch:
*Small fruit salad (made off kiwi fruit, orange, pineapple, and peeled apples) or medium apple
Dinner:
*8 baby carrot sticks or a green apple
Daily Total is around 200-400 calories.
Non-caloric drinks are allowed without limit.
Easily lose 4-11 pounds in one week

Skinny Girl Diet

1. 400 calories
2. 300 calories
3. 400 calories
4. 500 calories
5. 450 calories
6. 650 calories
7. 650 calories
8. 400 calories
9. 300 calories
10. 400 calories
11. 500 calories
12. 450 calories
13. 650 calories
14. 700 calories
15. 400 calories
16. 300 calories
17. 400 calories
18. 450 calories
19. 500 calories
20. 650 calories
21. 700 calories
22. 400 calories
23. 300 calories
24. 450 calories
25. 500 calories
26. 450 calories
27. 650 calories
28. 700 calories
29. 400 calories
30. FAST!

Bold is weekends


Cabbage Soup Diet
This diet involves eating as much cabbage soup as you possibly can in seven days.
Day 1:

• Eat only fruit, as much fruit as you want, except bananas
• Drink unsweetened tea, black coffee, cranberry juice, and water
• Eat as much soup as you like

Day 2:

• All you want- fresh, raw, or cookies vegetables of your choice
• Stay away from beans, peas, and sweet corn
• Reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter for dinner
• Eat as much soap as you’d like, but no fruit today

Day 3:

• Combine Day 1 and 2, eat as much fruit, vegetables and soup as you’d like but no potato

Day 4:

• Eat as many as 8 bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup
• This day is supposed to lessen your desire for sweets

Day 5:

• You may have up to 10 ounces of beef and up to 6 fresh tomotoes
• Drink at least 6-8 glasses of water this day to wash the uric acid from your body
• Eat your soup at least once today
• You may eat broiled or baked chicken or fish instead of beef

Day 6:

• Eat beef and vegetables today
• You can have 2 steaks with lots of fresh vegetables or salads
• NO BAKED POTATO
• Eat your soup at least once today

Day 7:

• Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables all you want
• No bread, alcohol, or carbonated beverages. Not even diet soda

The 2468 Diet:This is a fairly simple one to start with. Its basically 200 calories the first day, 400 the next, 600 the day after, 800 the next, then back to 200... And then it starts again, 200, 400, 600, 800, and it works in that cycle.
Some people like to put a fast after the 800 day. Apparently it "tricks" the motablisim, but I don't know how true that is.
And few examples then:
Day One: 200 calories
Day Two: 400 calories
Day Three: 600 calories
Day Four: 800 calories
Day Five: 200 calories
Day Six: 400 calories
Day Seven: 600 calories
Day Eight: 800 calories
Day Nine: 200 calories...
Another example (with a fast in it)
Day One: 200 calories
Day Two: 400 calories
Day Three: 600 calories
Day Four: 800 calories
Day Five: fast
Day Six: 200 calories
Day Seven: 400 calories
Day Eight: 600 calories
Day Nine: 800 calories
Day Ten: Fast...


The ABC Diet:You can swap a few of the days around if you need to.
Day 1: 500 calories (or less)
Day 2: 500 calories (or less)
Day 3: 300 calories
Day 4: 400 calories
Day 5: 100 calories
Day 8: 400 calories
Day 6: 200 calories
Day 7: 300 calories
Day 9: 500 calories
Day 10: Fast
Day 11: 150 calories
Day 12: 200 calories
Day 13: 400 calories
Day 14: 350 calories
Day 15: 250 calories
Day 16: 200 calories
Day 17: Fast
Day 18: 200 calories
Day 19: 100 calories
Day 20: Fast
Day 21: 300 calories
Day 22: 250 calories
Day 23: 200 calories
Day 24: 150 calories
Day 25: 100 calories
Day 26: 50 calories
Day 27: 100 calories
Day 28: 200 calories
Day 29: 200 calories
Day 30: 300 calories
Day 31: 800 calories
Day 32: Fast
Day 33: 250 calories
Day 34: 350 calories
Day 35: 450 calories
Day 36: Fast
Day 37: 500 calories
Day 38: 450 calories
Day 39: 400 calories
Day 40: 350 calories
Day 41: 300 calories
Day 42: 250 calories
Day 43: 200 calories
Day 44: 200 calories
Day 45: 250 calories
Day 46: 200 calories
Day 47: 300 calories
Day 48: 200 calories
Day 49: 150 calories
Day 50: Fast

The HollyWood Diet:It's a 24/48 hour diet and it is not recommended that it is done any longer than 48 hours. It's fairly simple to follow.
Ingredients:
Juice of 4 oranges
Juice of 2 lemons
2 Tbls. honey
1 banana, peeled and sliced
1 apple peeled and sliced
1 cup of grape juice (can be store bought)

Combine the ingredients and blend or stir thoroughly. This will make enough concentrate to last you one day. Add 1 litre or 2 pints of distilled or spring water, and sip the juice throughout the day. Nothing else but this mix can be consummed apart from water.

The Master Cleanse/Maple Syrup Diet/Lemonade Diet
Ingredients:
fresh lemon juice
Maple Syrup
Cayenne Pepper
Water

Ok, 8oz water in a glass. The water is to purified or spring water, NOT TAP, and at room temperature. 2 tablespoons of fresh (organic if you can) lemon juice, 2 tablespoons of grade B or C maple syrup (the grade A stuff is too refined and is just all sugar. Also, none of this maple flavored syrup!), a small pinch of cayenne pepper. Shake them all up (a cocktail shaker is good for this), pour into a glass and drink throughout the day.
Drink the lemonade mix every 1 to 2 hours. Take no other food, but do be sure to drink plenty of purified water in addition to the lemonade drink. Drink as much of this lemonade as you want, but make sure that you drink at least twelve 1/4 liter (8 oz) glasses. The lemonade contains all the vitamins and minerals you need. This can be combined with supplements for colon cleansing such as Bentonite or Psyllium Seeds. You don't have to start your fast on the morning of the first day. You can begin later in the day, even if you've already eaten. Once you begin, however, eat nothing more while you're on the fast.
No food. Just this mix.
Enjoy!

The Milk Diet
Apparently you can lose up to 15lbs on this diet over 8 days. It's not suitable for vegetarians or vegans (sorry guys!)

Day 1: 6 cups of milk
Day 2: 4 cups of milk and 2 pieces of fruit
Day 3: 2 cups of milk and 2 fruits and cheese
Day 4: 4 cups of milk, 1 piece of fruit and 1 piece of meat
Day 5: 2 cups of milk, 2 pieces of fruit, 1 piece of meat and 1 egg
Day 6: 2cups of milk,1 fruit, 1 piece of meat,1 egg and some cheese
Day 7: 3 cups of milk, 3 fruit
Day 8: 2 cups of milk, 1 fruit, piece of, meat, cheese
There are no portion sizes, so I would go on just common sense. A piece of meat isn't going to be a 12oz steak... :-) Just use common sense, don't go crazy! Use skimmed or low fat milk!
Good luck!

MORE DIETS SOON!!!

A few tips and tricks

TOP TEN DIET TIPS1.It is true that by just keeping a diary of food intake 96 out of a 100 people lost weight. People who keep track
of their diets and supplements had a result within a few days.

2.It is also true that you need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Water speeds up your metabolism and prevents
the body from dehydrating during weight loss. It also fills the stomach up so that you don’t feel hungry. There
is this product also called CRAVE CONTROLLER this keeps your from snacking and feeling hungry. I
recently developed my own product.. you can try this it works, CLICK HERE.
3.Another important tip, spices and peppers boost the digestive system (click here). There are supplements for
Cayenne and other weight loss peppers and spices at most of my links…..I love to check the internet for my
favorite spots to buy my supplies. To keep from eating try checking out modeling sites to keep yourself
inspired.

4.Eat smaller meals frequently and preferably fat burning types. Make a cabbage soup and eat it anytime you
feel hungry. Just put some cabbage, a can of stewed tomatoes and some celery in the microwave or pot.
Cook till soft and then add a can of vegetable broth. If you are interested in any diet you mave have heard
about there is a complete online library at www.questia.com which I find helpful for any info
5.Remember to always eat slow, your mind does not register the food for about twenty minutes.

6.Never eat before going to sleep. Try to eat your last meal at least four hours before you go to be. Make sure
you sleep 6 hours a night.

7.Keep busy and keep your mind occupied on something else. Check samples (click here)8.Look at your favorite thinspiration photos on my site and do some push ups and sit ups if you feel hungry.

9. Exercise everyday a little bit. Try walking 20 minutes everyday to speed up your metabolism. Use exercise
videos or try some of the exercises I have listed on the exercise page. Exercising will no doubt speed up any
weight loss.

10. Always drink at least 8 glasses of water a day and take your vitamins and minerals!!!




 Eat in front of the mirror. Hell, eat in front of the mirror naked and see how much you want to eat then.
When you get the urge to eat chew sugar free gum. Just make sure you keep track of how much you have. Most kinds have 5 calories a piece.
Freeze your foods. I freeze fruits and yogurts and flavored ice cubes. Frozen yogurts take forever to eat so you feel occupied longer.
When you go to a restaurant order something that’s not too unhealthy. Put half of to the other side of the plate and say your going to eat it tomorrow for lunch. Then eat half of what’s on your plate and “forget” to ask them to bag it for take out for you. Or cut your plate in half and push the other half around the plate to fill it.
Eat breakfast and lunch or just breakfast, never eat dinner cause if you eat dinner you don’t give your body enough time to burn off the calories or you can eat all three small meals but finish the last bit of eating at least four hours before you go to sleep. This way your metabolism will burn it up before you get into bed.
Go shopping and try on clothes that you wish you could fit you and that should keep you focused and on track of your goals.
Pinch all your fat if you want to eat and see how disgusting it is and then you’ll think that if you eat you’ll just add more to it and you don’t want that.
If you can go to your kitchen and take all the bad foods that you know you will binge on please just go and throw them away.
If you sit a lot every hour get up and go crazy start doing knee lifts with your arms up or some jumping jacks and toe touches or jumping stupidly or anything like that it will boost your metabolism for a little.




Tricks

• spin around and around in circles, it will make you too dizzy and nauseous to eat
• drink water, water, water, before meals, after meals, during meals, when meals won't be happening, all the TIME
• go to a movie with a friend, will keep your mind off of it, keep you away from food, and you can order a diet soda
• Chew sugar-free gum
• pick a food from the
• take a nap
• read a book
• STUDY
• clean your room, apartment, house
• do the dishes
• take a shower/bath
• put on a face mask to clean your pores
• whiten your teeth
• go for a run or work out hard
• do crunches- it burns calories and kills hunger
• focus on enjoying the hunger, it means you're succeeding
• concentrate on how you feel after a binge
• weigh yourself
• look at yourself naked (very effective if mixed with crunches)
• drink something hot like green tea or bullion cubes, it confuses your tummy and makes you think you're full
• go for a walk
• do not take money with you wherever you go so that you can't slip up and buy food
• notice how many girls are thinner than you are
• never eat anything bigger than your fist

Tips

• put on some music and dance and sing
• watch a movie with thin people in it or scan the TV channels for thin people
• think of something disgusting, like maggots on roadkill
• drink 2 tablespoons of vinegar before you eat- it will fill you up faster
• the opaque glass trick- this is when you're around people and have to eat, be careful with this one, take a bite, chew it, and spit it into the glass so it looks like you're taking a sip of something-practice this one before doing it in front of anyone
• go into the kitchen a lot and take a lot of time nibbling-people will think you're always eating
• have a peppermint-decreases appetite
• put on tight pants and take off your shirt-look in the mirror
• masturbate-kills time, calories, hunger, and takes your mind off of things
• do a workout video
• put on layers, you're more likely to feel hungry when you're cold
• call a friend or family member, you won't want to eat while you're talking to them on the phone
• try to meditate, it helps you gain inner strength and center, also try visualization (imagine the fat melting off your body)
• visit a friend
• try a hypnosis weight-loss cd
• sleep on your left side, it helps food digest faster
• curling into a ball helps hunger pains go away
• go for a swim
• shave your legs
• excuses: I just ate, headache, stomach ache, tired and want to lay down, busy, or you'll eat something in a little bit (procrastinate)
• read thinspiration
• brush your teeth
• play a video or computer game
• if you go to a restaurant, try something new (but make sure its something you won't like) then when it comes, try it, and pick at it because you don't like it

More of the above tips and tricks

• walk to a store and try on clothes that are too tight or get some magazines with models in them and look at them
• invite some friends bowling
• write about it, get it off your chest, poetry, journalling, whatever
• squeeze your butt cheeks together and look at them in the mirror or feel them
• laxatives- last ditch effort
• go tanning
• pick up an extra shift at work
• smoke a cigarette (or two or three)
• wear a rubberband around your wrist- snap it every time you think about eating something
• pinch your fat
• punch yourself in the stomach
• take your vitamins
• chew some tums (they even have calcium)
• calcium, kelp, diet pills, these all help
• sip on some diet soda
• cut your food into small pieces, eat slowly, push it around on your plate a lot, eat off of a smaller plate
• think of all of the people you want to see you thin, or all the times you'd like to be thinner, make a list
• the busy trick, stay at the computer or in another room, have someone make food for you, put it in a plastic bag and bring it out 15 minutes later, dispose of the bag asap
• Buck up, nobody said this would be easy
• look up pro-ana sites or go to pro-ana chat
• learn to knit or crochet, something to keep your hands busy
• surprise a friend, family member, or significant other with something nice
• find some music that makes you enthusiastic to lose weight or stick with it-make a cd of it and listen to it
• find new reasons or ways to be thin

------more tips an tricks soon! i promise! :)

Ask me anything

Since i am still figuring things out, if you have any questions, just E-Mail me at

Perfectly_Empty94@yahoo.com   :)

Some of my writing

 *Turn on the water, turn on the fan. Blasting music as loud as i can. It starts off loud, then slowly dies away. It hurts, but in the end a reward will be mine. Strip down, step on. Shrink faster and faster. Watch the numbers fall lower and lower. Count, check, run. Have a smile on your face, why not be happy? You're skinnier than her. People start to glance, than they start to envy. And all at once, you realize what was happening. You succeeded. You dropped, you fell, you lost.

 *Look down the hall, no one in sight.
Run to the room, lock the door tight.
Take off the robe, drop it to the ground
Step on the scale, watch the numbers go down.
Look in the mirror, the bones are jutting out.
My hair is getting thin, my vision goes black.
But i dont care, it's weight and food i lack.
My body shakes and trembles, but still i do not eat.
My hands and feet are cold, underneath these sheets.
People stare and wonder, i can see that they envy.
My arms and legs get smaller, by the hour i get more skinny.
I starve becasue they say i cant.
I starve becasue i know i can.

 *The scale in my life, it determines my mood.
I want to lose more, so i eat no food.
Counting calories, running till i drop.
Taking diet pills, if i eat, i'll throw up.
I step back on the scale, i've only dropped 2 lbs.
I curl up in a ball, wanting to cry until i drown.

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